take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
