i can't believe i had my finger in that
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
