Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
