I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
