I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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