SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
