this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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