So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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