New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
