Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
