Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
