billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
