Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize