Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My dad is sitting where you rode me
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
