Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
