Don't you send me to vm
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
