did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
