Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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