He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
