She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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