In the future we'll all be gay
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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