Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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