happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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