good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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