in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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