hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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