He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
