I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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