Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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