Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
