Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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