Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There's always time for handjobs
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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