he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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