so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
