he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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