I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Ladies don't puke and tell
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
