The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
