In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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