TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
