please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
