I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
