if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
