arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
