I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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