I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
