Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
