Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
