WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
