I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Everything about him screamed your future.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
