I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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