I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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