You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize