you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He better not be in your backpack
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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