I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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